"The Month": Race, Difference & Diversity

Have you heard of The Week?

It summarizes op-eds on "hot" current event topics for the past week.  Like Cliff's Notes.  Cliffs' Notes.  Whatever.

Let's do a The Month post for my blog.

Wait!!

It's going to be good!!

Don't!!

leave!!

Early in the month, I posted "How to Talk so People (or Racists) will Listen".

JM Randolph of accidental stepmom pinpointed how this situation can be awkward:



It's difficult to speak up when confronted with intolerant beliefs.  For me, it's exasperating if it's my own family or people I'm close to. Sometimes, I don't even bother because I know the person enough to know my words won't make a difference.  I wonder, though, is speaking up about these issues about changing someone's mind or is it about making a statement about who we are and what we're willing to tolerate?

In "The Help... in Mississippi or in Pakistan", we discussed K. Stockett's best selling controversial novel, The Help. 

Kailyn elaborated on the objections eloquently and passionately:

What pissed me off about the book was the widespread popularity of it. For me it was the feeling of, “What? The experiences of my family are only valid if they are told by a white woman?” The more and more I thought about it, it just all felt like more of the Great White Savior being played out.

When I read literature about India, Pakistan or even Muslims written by individuals outside of those cultures, I can feel like that.  Sometimes, those perspectives seem to emanate from academic ivory tower conjectures. That's not to say that only African Americans can write about African Americans, etc, but people write best when they offer their truth as they have lived it.

Still, while I agree with some of Kailyn's assessment, but Windyfairy offers the zero sum of my opinion:

Part of racism was that ethnic people were stripped of their voices. [...]Maybe what we should take from this story is that there were people willing to work together for the same goal, despite their differences. Maybe what should be important isn’t who told the story, but that it was told.

It's entirely possible that my not being African American is a factor in my tendency to agree with that.

It was also my birthday on the 9th. In addition to a MACBOOK AAAAIRRRR(!!!), I got an extraordinary "present" on my Facebook wall from Dave2 at Blogography.

I celebrated Dr. M.L.King, Jr.'s birthday here in Memphis this year, too. It was significant and beautiful experience for me.  One comment in particular on that post from RW, however, brought home a stark reminder of the realities of our times.

There’s no question but that for a lot of white Americans this is viewed as a “black” holiday that they have to just put up with not getting their mail on.

Including my family, there were six individuals who were not African American at the event I attended. I can unequivocally say that for me "black" or "African American" are rarely the first words that come to mind when I think of Dr. King.  Do people really still see him as an African American hero and not just a plain old American hero?

Megan finished out the month by graciously offering a guest post in the style of her blog  One Thousand Words (Or More).  I was honored to celebrate her talent and beauty with you.

Finally, I want to extend thanks to Nyt, and like bloggers.  As someone who can often fall on the other side of political and social issues than me (and most of the readers here), Nyt often takes the time to express opinions here. Disagreeing is more than just "okay", it is needed. We can never be less for acknowledging "the other side" and taking the time to consider opinions oppositional to our own.  Being open minded means, well... being open.

Most posts this month were inspired by race, difference and diversity.  As always, I'm impressed with the respectful nature of the dialogue here and want to thank everyone for respectfully participating in conversations that could have gone horribly awry.

Also I've started a Native Born Facebook page, where I'll be posting articles, videos and fascinating things relating to my blog.  And Star Trek.  Vampires, too.

Photo Credit

Perspectives: Color by @MsMegan

One Thousand Words (Or More) is a collection of  subtle, yet breathtaking photographs published on the web by my dear and trusted friend Megan. Brief snippets of wisdom accompany each of her posts and the style of the blog reinforces that I'm blessed to have her in my feed reader. Products inspired by the blog can also be found online at the One Thousand Words (Or More) shop and you can find her on Twitter at @MsMegan

***

It's the color that makes life interesting.

The Dr. King & I: Intentions and Realities. # HappyMLKDay

History: You cannot know where you are going unless you know where you have been.

I woke with the intention of making today meaningful.

When we first decided to move to Memphis, the first thought that came to me was "That's where they shot Dr. King." Yes, I called him Dr. King because in my family, you always put Dr. in front of someone's name if they're a doctor. And, yes, I thought the words exactly like that ... "they shot him." Like an army of people fired shots at the Lorraine. Aside from proving that I'm careless when I'm thinking to myself, this is illustrative of how many view race, if not life itself.

The National Civil Rights Museum rests quietly beneath a vintage green sign with red letters proclaiming the words "Lorraine Motel" on it.   It happens to be two trolley stops away from our apartment. To give you an idea of how much I wanted today to mean something, Tariq commuted 45 minutes to join us for our very own Family Civil Rights Remembrance Lunch today.

Because this is Memphis.

This is where Dr. King died, you know.

In the morning, I explained slavery to my daughter.

She was horrified, as she should be.

Then I explained segregation.

That seemed to confuse her, as it should.

I repeated the "content of his character" line like you do when you're trying to be inspirational about race. I explained non-violent resistance. I'm not sure what stuck, but it felt significant at the time.

We stepped off the trolley towards the museum, and there were so many people. I realized going into the actual museum was a bust.  I've been there once already, so that wasn't too big of a deal. There was music playing, food cooking, laughter... people, there were funnel cakes!

Memphians come out to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday



Funnel cakes!

At the place where "they" shot Dr. King!

This was not a place for martyrs.

This was a party. The smell of funnel cakes summarily decimated my romantic notions surrounding today and drove home an obvious reality.

Today is the birthday celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Of course, there are funnel cakes.

I know the readership of this blog enough to know that most of the people reading right now are not exactly like me.  I write for people who want to learn about difference or diversity, so it follows that most people reading here are not "like me".  The funny thing about being "brown like me" is that you're not "black" or "white".

Bask in the brilliance of that little gem.

When you're "brown" (I'm totally doing air quotes), you don't carry a lot of American baggage.  Hold your envy, my friends, I have baggage of a different type. Slavery, separate water fountains, back of the bus and such, though?  Not so much. I own this history, but I do not live it the way someone who is "black" or "white" would.  (Again, with the air quotes).

From my position, I see shame, guilt, anger, finger pointing and even justification when it comes to these topics. Some decry this nation's racial past as shameful , others justify it as natural, many are somewhere in between. Some rant about how nothing has changed and others talk of how there's nothing left to do. Some people get angry if race is brought up at all while still others seem to make everything about race.

What I seldom see is what I saw today: celebrating.

I was not here when you were here, but I know we have come a long way. Today, my brown kid sat in a sub shop just around the corner from the Lorraine with black kids and white kids and all the kids ate the same food and nobody told them they couldn't sit wherever they wanted, and God love 'em every one, they all drank from the same soda fountain. As we walked home, we passed the site of the first schoolhouse for "colored" children and I had no idea how to even begin defining "colored" to my daughter.

That is something.

We can remember and we can be vigilant and we can be happy.  These things aren't mutually exclusive.

I woke with the intent to make today mean something by going to the place where Dr. King died.  I intended to honor his memory and legacy.  I realize now that it's not how or why he died that should be the focus, but what he did while he was alive that is most significant.

We live his dream.

Today, I woke with the intent of making this day meaningful.

So, it was.

How to Talk so People (or Racists) Will Listen

This video is around four years old, and you might have seen it already. I've seen it before, but I still thought it was terrific when I stumbled on it a few weeks ago.  Mr. Smooth explains a concept here that is so simple that it often escapes us at the crucial moments that we need to remember it the most.

Everyone has prejudices and stereotypes stuck in their brain about how the world works and who people are.  Prejudice isn't the problem because it's always going to be there.  The biggest problems arise when it comes to matters of race, multiculturalism, politics, or even "tastes great, less filling" because people forget how to talk to each other.

We're trying to go for the kill when it comes to discussing controversial topics.  "The kill" is not the end game. Attacking someone with a zinger might feel good, but, forgive me for bursting that bubble, but it achieves nothing. In the end turning a discussion about race or politics into an exercise in promoting one's own feelings of self righteousness is of no value.

The end game is not feeling good about yourself, you know? It's compassion, harmony, a pluralistic understanding of humanity. I will go so far as to say that watching what you say and how you say it is at the core of achieving that. Let me add here, though, that living in a more compassionate world is likely going to make you feel good about yourself.

Watching this video might be the most important three minutes you spend today.

Unless you're a heart surgeon or a pilot or something.



How to Tell People They Sound Racist

Welcome to Post-Racial America, the Land of Pink Elephants and Sugar Plum Fairies

What an exciting week.

Not only are we being led by a dynamic, eloquent and passionate leader, but he's black.  Obama's presidency is a testament to him, to all African Americans, and to everyone in this nation, regardless of their race. 

The first black president of the United States.

Now, that we have that out of the way.  Can we discuss this term "post racial America"?  Because it's starting to get on my nerves.

First, it conveys a false sense of total accomplishment.  Notice I wrote "total" accomplishment.  I would not be so cynical to write that President Barack Hussein Obama is not a great accomplishment in terms of American race relations.  Of course, it is.

But the election of Barack Obama, my friends, has not erased racism from the American landscape.  As much as I hate to be the Debbie Downer in this situation, I will do it for the sake of honesty and truth.

We do NOT live in a post-racial America.

Referring to ourselves as a post-racial America implies a sad sense of falseness and delusional mindset.

I've been reading a lot of blogs that are decrying individuals who continue to talk about race or racism as people who are unwilling to let go of this nation's racist past.  I read the words "get over it" a lot.  Or, even better, "let's move on."

In all the nations that have ever existed on this planet, I challenge you to find a single instance of a people who have "gotten over it" when faced with a past of oppression, genocide, violence and rape.   Victims of abuse do not "get over it."

They may incorporate their pain into who they are.  They may use that pain to accomplish more, to become better, to become stronger.  The abuse that they have endured, though, becomes part of them forever.  They decide whether they will make tragedy a furnace which strengthens them or an excuse for their own personal failures.

But they don't forget.  And nor should they.

"Get over it."

No American who takes their citizenship seriously should "get over it."   In terms of "moving on," we will never do that until we accept the full extent to which racism permeates our culture.

We are all victims in our own ways. (Part of the reason for denial, I think, stems from the fact that Americans hate being perceived as victims.  We're the heroes.  The ones that save the day.  Never the "sad, pathetic victims.")

We are victimized by American racism.  The descendants of a kidnapped people, the descendants of their kidnappers, the descendants of people who were not remotely wealthy enough to profit from any of this pain, the descendants of people who were not anywhere near North America when all this human suffering was happening...  We are all victimized by this human tragedy, and victims should never forget.

There are two ways that racism can victimize you.  The first is obvious.  You're black, brown, white, purple, so you can't go here, say this, or do that. Pretty straightforward.

The other way that we might be victimized by racism is by pretending that it doesn't exist.  That it's not part of the landscape anymore.  That anyone who brings up racism is harping on the past and refuses to get over it.

Denial victimizes us by preventing us from being who we should be: advocates for social justice, defenders of the oppressed, and protectors of the pure ideals that form the foundation our great democracy.

Barack Obama, by himself, can't cure cancer, fix the economy, save the whales, stop global warming or bring "Angel" and "Buffy" back to prime time.  And his inauguration sure as hell didn't "cure" racism.

Everyone scolding those of us who are willing to face the realities of this world, the one where prejudice and racism still exist, would do well to remember that.