I Know You Miss Me

I'm moving this blog to a new location by the end of this week (Insha'Allah).

Of course, I'll let you know when it's done.

I'm just telling you in case you start wondering where I went for the next few days.

I'm in Wordpress theme and template hell, that's where I am.

For God's Sake, Someone Call Child Services

I just don't know what bothers me more about this video. The crazy desi parents yelling at their kid or the rabidly liberal two year old.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMsM5kmsWms&hl=en&fs=1]

My mom has repeatedly bragged to me that when I was two years old, I walked up to a random person at the grocery store and asked, "Do you know who Idi Amin is? Faiqa does."

I'm thinking that a dining table scene similar to the above YouTube clip occurred in my home prior to the Idi Amin incident.

I don't know which is more tragic: that my mom is proud of that or that I actually have an "Idi Amin incident" in my life.

And thanks to Hadji is Dead for bringing up this painful flashback from my childhood.

Dead Right

I took a course called "Death in America" a few years ago. At the end of the class, the professor asked, "Do you believe present day America is a death denying culture?"

I believe that we are a death denying culture. We're not stupid. Americans know that every single person born on this earth does eventually die.

But knowledge of a thing, I submit, is not a substitute for acceptance.

The most obvious proof of this for me is the cemetery that I pass on my way to the mall.

An expansive and pristine green field dotted with fake bouquets of colorful flowers, it's typical of the American cemetery built within the past fifty years. Embedded in the ground in the form of flat stones, grave markers are visible only to those who actively seek reminders of those buried there. The architects of this cemetery showed great consideration for those who don't wish to be reminded of death. Your eyes will pass right over this cemetery as you go about your day, therefore ensuring that you'll definitely not think about the the bodies of the mothers, fathers, friends and children lying in that field.

Juxtapose this fairly recent construction with the century old cemetery that is in the middle of my brother's neighborhood in a parish outside of New Orleans. Massive structures of concrete and marble slab over four or five feet tall casually invade the everyday space of the living. People live next door to the cemetery, across the street from it, and even walk their dogs there. Unlike its Central Floridian sister, this New Orleanian cemetery jovially greets its living neighbors and unwary passersby, "Hey baby, (people in New Orleans say "baby," a lot) there's plenty of room in here for you, too. Laissez les bontemps roule!"

The reason for our stubborn denial of death is far more than just a simple fear of dying. Death reminds us that this life is impermanent, which means that everyone in our lives, as we know them today, is impermanent, too.

See, that last sentence is typical of a death denying culture with its use of "permanent" and "impermanent." A person who truly accepts and even embraces death as a concrete reality can say "One day, I will die, my parents will die, my spouse will die, and my children will die." Few people, including myself, can really say that without feeling totally depressed. Denying death certainly affords us the benefit of avoiding the painful fact that everyone we love and cherish will die.

But, I wonder, what are we missing in this trade off?

And, furthermore, what might we gain in trying to incorporate the true acceptance of death in our daily life?

We stand to gain quite a bit, I think. I'm not going to bore you with a discussion of the standard "Rah, Rah, live this day like it's your last" cheer. You're way too smart for that.

As I understand it, denying death allows us to continue deny what's important.

Hustling like a crazy person to win the love and acceptance of other human beings only feels important when we convince ourselves that the approval and love that we may get in return for the hustling is going to last forever.

Getting angry over the latest perceived insult to our egos only feels important when we convince ourselves that if the insult is not rectified, it will stand as an everlasting affront to who we are.

Competing with others over who has the best house, the nicest car and the most toys only feels right when we convince ourselves that some prize will be won in the end.

When we face death head on instead of denying it, though, we face the utter frivolity of these pursuits.

We realize that the only real truth is that everyone gets the same end in this life. Some will face death surrounded by loved ones and others will face it alone. For some, it will happen fast, and for others, it will happen slowly. In the end, regardless of the circumstances, everyone's heart will stop, everyone's breath will fade, and everyone's brain will die.

Death is not a punishment, it's a reality. And I personally feel that the further we remove ourselves from the realities of life, the worse off we are.

This seems nihilistic, but, really, it's most liberating. Accepting death can help us construct a legacy in which we truly believe. Death can serve as a microscope that allows us to dissect our beliefs and deeds in a way that no other experience can adequately parallel.

Accepting death doesn't mean that I can't grieve for the people in my life that have died either.

In fact, it gives me permission to do so in a more subtle and prolonged way, without the self imposed stigma of feeling like I have to "get over it." Because, you can't get over death. It's always going to be there, and ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

From the Party That Gave You the Term Flip-Flopper

The Daily Show really does have the Best F%^&$#G News Team Ever.

<<Youtube video missing>>

Gosh Darn It, That Was A Good Debate

I was going to go all Anderson Cooper meets Wolf Blitzer on you with a detailed point by point analysis of last night's debate, when by the third paragraph, I realized, who cares about the details of a debate that's not even a "game changer," according to one political pundit?

I thought Biden did very well. But, that's because I'm obviously liberal, and decidedly not a maverick, whose partisanship politics is the root cause of all of our nation's evils. And he didn't talk about Dunkin' Donuts, so that was a plus. Personally, I think Barack sat him down and did that magical up and down hand wave thing he does at speeches when eighty thousand people are cheering for him and said, "Settle down, Joe, settle down."

The Dallas Star reported that "Sarah Palin turned in a strong performance last night" and attributed that to her "folksy manner." Hmmm. Last time I checked, I thought we were having a debate over who would make a better Veep, not who would be a better candidate to play Gomer Pyle in the upcoming release of Gomer goes to Washington.

I'm getting the feeling that Palin's getting props because she avoided a Couricatastrophe. (You betchya, I made that up). I watched the debate, and I just read over the transcripts. She was actually O.K.

But, a strong performance? That's a little much. That's like me saying to my husband, "Oh, honey, you're the best husband in the world because you don't cheat on me." The ideal husband should not cheat on his wife, and the ideal Vice Presidential candidate isn't supposed to be funnier to watch than the SNL skits that mock her.

Actually, the reason that Sarah Palin irritates me has nothing whatsoever to do with Sarah Palin. She seems like a nice enough Washington outsider. I just start seething when I think of the possibility that all of those goshes, youbetchyas and gratuitous soccer mom references are winning people over.

If you're going to vote for John McCain because you agree with his policies, I can respect that. Especially since Uncle Joe reminded me last night that it's best not to question the motives of our opponents. But, if you ask me, there is a special place in hell for people who vote for the guy they'd rather have a beer with. They, not the impending economic catastrophe, are the real danger in America.

Because those kind of people don't care about anybody but themselves and they make the rest of us look as dumb as they are. They would rather have the wrong president who doesn't make them feel stupid than the right president who reminds them that they are, in fact, stupid.

Vote for John McCain or vote for Barack Obama, but please make sure your vote is for America and what you believe is best for you and your fellow citizens, not just for yourself.

Oh, and by the way, according to FactCheck.org:

Obama did say that troops in Afghanistan were killing civilians, a claim that Palin calls “untrue.” Here’s the whole quote, from a campaign stop in New Hampshire:

Obama, August 2007: We’ve got to get the job done there and that requires us to have enough troops so that we’re not just air-raiding villages and killing civilians, which is causing enormous problems there.

The Associated Press fact-checked this one, and found that in fact U.S troops were killing more civilians at the time than insurgents: “As of Aug. 1, the AP count shows that while militants killed 231 civilians in attacks in 2007, Western forces killed 286. Another 20 were killed in crossfire that can’t be attributed to one party.”

Aww, golly, c'mon, say it ain't so, gosh darn it.

I really regret not being able to work "maverick" into that last line.