Friday
Aug062010
A Blog Is A Person, Too #BlogHer10
Friday, August 6, 2010 at 03:42PM
So, I've been In New York for about twenty four hours.
BlogHer has been interesting.
I'm feeling overwhelmed. But, not quite in the way I expected. I don't want to elaborate too much because I'm not a ranter.
Let's just say, I've done some watching while I'm here.
I've watched how one "type" of blogger will treat another "type" of blogger, and I'm... surprised. More on this later. Much later. Maybe never. I don't know.
Okay, how about I just say that there's something reminiscent about Pink Ladies and Heathers and it's all very surreal? And, some of it, frankly is just tacky.
Everyone deserves to have a smile returned with some degree of genuine feeling, their name asked of them and "Nice to meet you" said to them.
That's all I'm saying. I don't care who you are... that's just good manners. And, no, I wasn't snubbed (much) by anyone, but I've seen it happen at least a dozen times in the past day and it just hurts my heart.
It also hurts my head to see grown women act like thirteen year old sheep.
I had this voluminous post typed up about myself that I intended to post here as a "landing page" of sorts. It was suggested to me that I do this because maybe someone would get my card or a link here at the conference and they might want to know more about my blog or me, etc.
I deleted that post.
Because I think that every prize requires some effort.
Inside this blog, there are posts that contain wisdom, beauty and heart. Those valuable gems, though? Are only visible when a person takes a genuine interest in finding them.
These treasures also only reveal themselves to the people who search with the conviction that they exist in the first place. Those worthy few... they are the ones I'm interested in meeting here. People who believe that everyone has something to offer, and that they, in turn, can also offer in return.
I'm lucky that I've already met a few such women. I'm also a little disappointed that I haven't met more.
Getting to know a person or a blog requires effort. Value is not apparent on the surface.
Not on the first page that you see.
Vaue lies deep beneath. Sometimes it lives in something bright, shiny and popular. Sometimes it flowers in the shade of relative anonymity.
Either way, the prize belongs to those willing to search for it.
BlogHer has been interesting.
I'm feeling overwhelmed. But, not quite in the way I expected. I don't want to elaborate too much because I'm not a ranter.
Let's just say, I've done some watching while I'm here.
I've watched how one "type" of blogger will treat another "type" of blogger, and I'm... surprised. More on this later. Much later. Maybe never. I don't know.
Okay, how about I just say that there's something reminiscent about Pink Ladies and Heathers and it's all very surreal? And, some of it, frankly is just tacky.
Everyone deserves to have a smile returned with some degree of genuine feeling, their name asked of them and "Nice to meet you" said to them.
That's all I'm saying. I don't care who you are... that's just good manners. And, no, I wasn't snubbed (much) by anyone, but I've seen it happen at least a dozen times in the past day and it just hurts my heart.
It also hurts my head to see grown women act like thirteen year old sheep.
I had this voluminous post typed up about myself that I intended to post here as a "landing page" of sorts. It was suggested to me that I do this because maybe someone would get my card or a link here at the conference and they might want to know more about my blog or me, etc.
I deleted that post.
Because I think that every prize requires some effort.
Inside this blog, there are posts that contain wisdom, beauty and heart. Those valuable gems, though? Are only visible when a person takes a genuine interest in finding them.
These treasures also only reveal themselves to the people who search with the conviction that they exist in the first place. Those worthy few... they are the ones I'm interested in meeting here. People who believe that everyone has something to offer, and that they, in turn, can also offer in return.
I'm lucky that I've already met a few such women. I'm also a little disappointed that I haven't met more.
Getting to know a person or a blog requires effort. Value is not apparent on the surface.
Not on the first page that you see.
Vaue lies deep beneath. Sometimes it lives in something bright, shiny and popular. Sometimes it flowers in the shade of relative anonymity.
Either way, the prize belongs to those willing to search for it.
Reader Comments (36)
I am still voting for everyone thinks you're stunningly beautiful therefore threatening so they're not being nice to you at first glance. I love you, and so does anyone who matters. Anyone who doesn't give themselves the chance to love you -- their loss.
you're so rad, faiqa. because of my profession, I'm not surprised...I deal with adults acting like spoiled kids on a daily basis. It still sucks, though.
It did look like there were cliques forming in the lobby. I guess it happens whenever large groups of people get together.
I hear it's all gonna come to a head at the BlogHer10 lingerie pillow fight on Saturday Night in Adam's room. Lucky guy...
Well said. It does sound like a potentially overwhelming event. Hopefully eventually some people will surprise you on the other end of the spectrum.
This post describes how I felt about BlogHer last year and I think it's the reason I'm not there this year. I'm so proud of you and your accomplishment, I'm proud to call you "Nemesis", and I know you're one of the women of BlogHer '10 who isn't ignoring anyone!
I always kind of thought that BlogHer would be as you describe. I think that junior high kind of sticks with you your whole life, especially when people are in large groups like that.
I've never been to BlogHer, and have no intention of ever going, but I have been to blogger meetups and I've completely seen that kind of behavior, and it's disgusting. It's possible that some people are just too insecure themselves and caught up in whatever they're doing, but I know BS and crappy behavior when I see it, and holy heck - I *have* seen it.
Thank God for people like YOU. Who "get" it.
Screw the rest.
I will never fathom how adults can be so insecure that they have to treat others like dirt. People like that are the reason some here in the Blogosphere love to see "popular" bloggers fall on their faces.
I certainly hope no one snubbed any of MY friends. I'll cut a bitch. ;)
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Poppytalk, Faiqa. Faiqa said: Native Born: A Blog Is A Person, Too #BlogHer10 http://bit.ly/9Onreg [...]
YOu're a smart woman.
I noticed that at the Ermba Bombeck Conference. There were a lot of wonderful people there -- and there were a lot of people who clearly considered themselves the "cool" kids.
All very reminiscent of junior high...
Pearl
Sweet one, I truly believe that people acting like that are very insecure. And insecurity is a malady that can strike all of us at the a
strangest times. YOU are a jewel.
Sweet one, I truly believe that people acting like that are very insecure. And insecurity is a malady that can strike all of us at the a
strangest times. YOU are a jewel.
Unfortunately, people have forgotten basic manners. It breaks my heart too. Good luck with your event.
Lately, I have missed many articles written by you. I have saved each and every one of them and waiting to read them as soon as I get some free time :). Have a great time in NY.
Well...you are in NY!!!! I was having a convo with a few friends of mine..(some ny''ers) and it was a general consensus that NY brings out the inner B in a lot of people..hope you enjoy the rest of your trip..see you in DB in a month:-)
See, this is the reason that I don't think I could go. Even if I had the money, which I soooo don't, I think it would kill me to meet someone whom I admire online and then find that they greeted me by looking down their nose, or looking the other way. I think it would just hurt too badly. I think it says a lot about all of you that do go, that you have the self-confidence to go and not worry about what others are thinking, or how they are acting.
I think things like BlogHer can be a microcosm of the shortcomings of the wider world.
I don't like how conferences like that bring up issues like who is worth what and all that nonsense. If I ever see a look in someone's eyes that says: 'How is it going to benefit me to get to know you?' the street brawler in me comes out.
The fact is, I can say with a hundred per cent confidence that it would be a genuine pleasure to meet you in person and that my day/life would be enriched as a result. Anyone who doesn't take the time to consider that, well, it is their loss.
No matter what happens, the great thing is that you get to see New York. I love that place with a passion. Say HI to her for me!
I want to hear more of your observations. I know that you have keen senses of observation and insight into the female persona that I myself severely lack. Hell, I think you should write a book about it.
More important than the souls of mothers and the sanity of social acceptance for females everywhere, apparently there is rumored to be "The Best Halal Meat Cart Ever" over on Sixth Avenue by the hotel. I need your opinion on that as well.
More important than the souls of mothers but not as important as the best beef slinger on 6th Avenue, I hope to see you tomorrow night... because apparently all the other bloggers are a bunch of quitters... so I need someone to "make out*" with.
*Code for the self pollution of the respiratory system
You are such a wise woman. Very good post. There are adults that act like spoilt children all over the world. Its easy to be nice and genuine, all it takes is good manners as you said yourself. I hope you have a nice time with your good friends in NYC, you lucky duck!!
Wow. What an insightful post. I thought BlogHer was all about embracing each other. This makes me sad that it's not all hearts and roses like I had pictured. But if someone is snobby to you! I will cut them! You are one of my favorite people that I have met in person via a blogger meet up and it was an honor to have had met you :)
cliques... what is this like high school??? I love u and that matters :)
I'm interested to hear more about what you've observed. I haven't really seen that at all, but my perspective is vastly different than your own.
Although what you have observed is unfortunate, I am not surprised. So, have you noticed if any of the same women who being bitchy are now nice to you after having realized that you are 'voice of the year'? Those are the ones you have to be careful about.
I'm so disappointed! My experiences blogging and meeting other bloggers have been so positive. I'd prefer to continue functioning in my little bubble.
Actually, that's not entirely true. I have seen trolls slamming other bloggers.
I wonder if these Heathers are actually the trolls?
I would love to read the post you had prepared. I will wait. Because you're worth it.
Unfortunately fame has a way of doing that to people. And let's be honest, there are some 'big name' bloggers out there, bloggers everyone knows.
I would hate to meet a blogger I truly admire only to find out they aren't as down to earth and open and friendly as their 'blog persona' lead me to believe.
Another entry of truth.
I am going to miss you when you leave NYC....
You said exactly what I was thinking... except much more eloquently.
I could have written this post myself. I'm pleased it was you who did.
I always have a really good time at BlogHer. And this weekend, most of the people I met were lovely and gracious--but there were a few who treated me very, very poorly until they saw my nametag (at which point they squeed themselves into a 180.). And I was shocked. I was. Call me naive, but I really was.
I don't care who you are, nobody is above common kindness and courtesy. And I don't care who you THINK you are, period--especially at BlogHer. Lemme take you outside and see if there is a single passerby that has any clue who you are, big shot.
I'm trying not to let it ruin my experience. I just wish there was a little more graciousness in the world.
Thrilled I finally connected with you. Thank you for writing this.
Anyone who snubbed you (or anyone else) made a big mistake for missing out on finding a potential new light in their life. I felt honored to meet you even before I realized you were one of the Voices of the Year, and even more so when you told me you actually have read my online doodlings. Wise people sample the whole feast, not just the dishes they already know.
So I'm the crazy person who stopped you at sparklecorn and told you I thought you were amazing and beautiful and loved you at voices of the year. And I did and I do and I wish I would have seen you days before and we could have sat and had a drink. I'm so sorry you felt the way you did and experienced what you did. I would have smiled at you. I think you are simply awesome.
You articulated what has been rolling around in my head. It's weird. The people I expected to be friendly and welcoming were not. The people who were even bigger name bloggers were sweet and gracious and lovely.
I spoke with you at the gala and I was nervous. You spoke so beautifully at the keynote and you made me cry! Once I saw another woman speaking with you I figured I could do it too. and of course you were an utter sweetheart and as nice as you are eloquent. But honestly, I was nervous, because I spoke with someone else who spoke at the keynote and I got the feeling that I was not worth her time.
So thank you for making me feel like your equal. Can't wait to read through your archives!
This is why I have never gone to BlogHer. There are tons of bloggers I'd like to meet, and so many I have met that I'd love to spend time with, but watching or experiencing situations like you described makes me sad and holds me back. I very much wish I could have heard you speak, though.
This reminds me of a roundtable I was at a couple of years ago when some Canadians had a local "conference" the same weekend as BlogHer. One of the women leading the discussion insisted there are no cliques in blogging.
"Yeah, you say that because you're in one, just like the popular kids in high school tell you there were no cliques," I replied.
"...it's a sorority binge with a frat house contingent swirling around a couple of interesting events and a larger slew of completely pointless other ones. It is basically the ultimate expression of femnetworking at its top, including the really cool drunkenness (yes!) and really awful occasional petty squabble (uh... meh)."
:-) Now where have I seen this before?
You are a beautiful and eloquent writer and I absolutely CAN NOT BELIEVE that this is the first time I'm on your site when we have so many people and so much in common. You can count on me being one of the people to dig a little deeper here. I look forward to getting to know you and your blog better; and I'm fairly certain we'll be friends for life. LOVED meeting you!
Reading your blog is ALWAYS a treat for me, Faiqa, you always enlighten me and educate me. You're writing, your stories and your outlook are all so beautiful. xoxo
@Becky, ironically, it's very rarely the "big name bloggers" who behave this way.