Tuesday
Mar022010
Gimme A Minute... or a Week
Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 10:02PM
I need a week or so away from the Internet. Or, specifically, from blogs.
So, if you have a blog, I don't hate you, I haven't unsubscribed, you are still 100 degrees of awesome. I just have some stuff I have to do.
[Write something about how I need to reorganize my entire house and bills and life because I cannot see straight due to the clutter that has accumulated over the past fifteen months. Husband, beware, I'm going to purchase refill tape for my label maker, file folders and more whiteboards tomorrow and thus life with your crazy super organized wife will resume shortly.]
Anyway, I'll be back here and at your places in about a week or so.
I will still be on twitter and Facebook because, my God, there's no need to get crazy and turn into the unibomber.
[Reminder to the uninitiated: Yes, I know, Muslim bloggers should not use the word "bomb" on their blogs. Even when trying to be funny. But me? I like to thumb my nose at the establishment. Bring on the body scans!]
In the meantime, let me tell you about how this weekend, my mom gave me my childhood in a box. You know, kindergarten certificates and newspaper clippings, etc. It was a strange thing because, well, I just thought she'd want to keep that stuff forever and ever because she loves me so much.
But, apparently, she, too, is sick of the clutter. The clutter of my childhood. Sob. She didn't say it, but I swear as she handed me the box, I heard her voice boom "My job here is done" in my head.
Anyway, in this box was a paper written by a psychologist who had the joyful task of evaluating me for gifted classes when I was twelve years old. I had not, until this weekend, actually seen the written results of this evaluation, but had only heard them.
Mostly in the context of, "You are way too smart to be getting crappy grades like this."
Now, please, I'm not going to get annoying and share the actual results with you because most of you already know I'm very smart. Haha. No, but, really, I am. And I actually have documentation, now.
However, I do want to share the following excerpt with you, my dear, non-judgey friends:
You know what? That information? Would have been NICE TO KNOW twenty two years ago. Correction, twenty two years, three thousand self help books, three majors, one husband and two kids ago.
Because that's what it took to get me to realize that it is not the gold stars and head pats that matter, but that life's real joy resides in the things you actually do in life and how you feel while you are doing them. We do things because they feel right and good and honest.
Gold stars are for gunners, not winners. In the end, a gold star doesn't make laying your head down at night any easier or fill one's heart up with a sense of completeness. A gold star just tells you that someone else thinks you're doing a good job. You have to think you're doing a good job, in the end, that's what matters.
Life lesson: A good job is the one you enjoy. Gold star optional.
Still, yeah, it would have been awesome to know that when I was twelve.
I absolutely don't want anything to be different, of course.
I'm just saying that some of those self help books were a real pain to read.
And it would be nice to get that money back because I have a lot of label maker refill tape to buy.
See you in a week. Or so.
So, if you have a blog, I don't hate you, I haven't unsubscribed, you are still 100 degrees of awesome. I just have some stuff I have to do.
[Write something about how I need to reorganize my entire house and bills and life because I cannot see straight due to the clutter that has accumulated over the past fifteen months. Husband, beware, I'm going to purchase refill tape for my label maker, file folders and more whiteboards tomorrow and thus life with your crazy super organized wife will resume shortly.]
Anyway, I'll be back here and at your places in about a week or so.
I will still be on twitter and Facebook because, my God, there's no need to get crazy and turn into the unibomber.
[Reminder to the uninitiated: Yes, I know, Muslim bloggers should not use the word "bomb" on their blogs. Even when trying to be funny. But me? I like to thumb my nose at the establishment. Bring on the body scans!]
In the meantime, let me tell you about how this weekend, my mom gave me my childhood in a box. You know, kindergarten certificates and newspaper clippings, etc. It was a strange thing because, well, I just thought she'd want to keep that stuff forever and ever because she loves me so much.
But, apparently, she, too, is sick of the clutter. The clutter of my childhood. Sob. She didn't say it, but I swear as she handed me the box, I heard her voice boom "My job here is done" in my head.
Anyway, in this box was a paper written by a psychologist who had the joyful task of evaluating me for gifted classes when I was twelve years old. I had not, until this weekend, actually seen the written results of this evaluation, but had only heard them.
Mostly in the context of, "You are way too smart to be getting crappy grades like this."
Now, please, I'm not going to get annoying and share the actual results with you because most of you already know I'm very smart. Haha. No, but, really, I am. And I actually have documentation, now.
However, I do want to share the following excerpt with you, my dear, non-judgey friends:
"Faiqa appeared to be highly motivated to do well. On occasion her anxiety about doing well probably had somewhat of a negative effect on her performance."
You know what? That information? Would have been NICE TO KNOW twenty two years ago. Correction, twenty two years, three thousand self help books, three majors, one husband and two kids ago.
Because that's what it took to get me to realize that it is not the gold stars and head pats that matter, but that life's real joy resides in the things you actually do in life and how you feel while you are doing them. We do things because they feel right and good and honest.
Gold stars are for gunners, not winners. In the end, a gold star doesn't make laying your head down at night any easier or fill one's heart up with a sense of completeness. A gold star just tells you that someone else thinks you're doing a good job. You have to think you're doing a good job, in the end, that's what matters.
Life lesson: A good job is the one you enjoy. Gold star optional.
Still, yeah, it would have been awesome to know that when I was twelve.
I absolutely don't want anything to be different, of course.
I'm just saying that some of those self help books were a real pain to read.
And it would be nice to get that money back because I have a lot of label maker refill tape to buy.
See you in a week. Or so.
Reader Comments (54)
Wow..Thats seriously so awesome!!I mean freaking awesome..Im thinking about it over and over.
Oh..If you didnt understand, I meant this one
"Life lesson: A good job is the one you enjoy. Gold star optional."
And also the blog post and you too
My mom recently did the same thing after she started a remodeling project, and I was similarly taken aback. She even gave me my baby book! I haven't looked through the box, though, and I'm not sure I want to. I wonder why it feels like such a rejection.
Yeah, but at 12? You wouldn't have believed them anyway. :-)
I had a similar evaluation done when I was 10.
When I started high school, my initial "welcome to hell" session, my guidance counselor casually mentioned that I had been assessed, and that the results were "interesting". I asked for clarification, and he said that it was policy to not tell students that sort of thing. I pressed, and he said that once I was 18 I was an adult and could demand to see my records.
On my 18th birthday I went in and asked to see my records. He was right. It was interesting.
They really need to teach that shit in school. Maybe there is something to eliminating grades...
I was a bit different in school. I had no anxiety over doing well in class. I was bored with it and I didn't care if my grades weren't up to snuff. I still excelled (5th in my class, high scores on all the standard tests, etc...), but my guidance counselor was always so frustrated with me because I only put in the most minor effort toward my studies. It was the same in college. Now I wish I had all those years back.
Oh, and "You can't go! All the plants are gonna die!"
(My standard comment when anyone announces they are taking time off from blogging.)
@SciFi Dad, what'd it say?
enjoy the time...i think.
And what the world doesn't know is that the clutter that has brought this all on is actually a dish towel unfolded on top of the counter and the fact that the front carpet hasn't been vacuumed since yesterday. Evening.
How does RW know that? Did you have a party and not invite me?!!
I was only motivated to do well until about 7th grade. I wonder why I stopped caring? I still DID well, but there was no effort whatsoever. Hmm.
i will cry myself to sleep every night until you return. you think i'm kidding but i'm not.
johnny depp ftw!
Oh Jesus. Your poor husband.
I agree with Britt that you probably wouldn't have believed it at 12. However, I think believing it could have been worse. Obviously, I don't actually know what you were like at 12, but had I been convinced at that age that external approval didn't matter, it seems unlikely I would have had the maturity to succeed within the framework of society. Of course, it's possible I would have succeeded in completely different ways or had valuable life experiences until I found my way. I'm not sure. But that's just my point, I'm not sure that such knowledge is useful at 12.
shit, i took off like two months. do what you have to do. then hurry back coz i miss you already.
@jina, Thanks-- I appreciate the compliment!
@Lisa, I know, right? I've spent my life being all, "Stay outta my life" and then... whaaa? :)
@Miss Britt, True, true.
@SciFi Dad, Yeah, spill it.
@Finn, Whoaaa, eliminating grades, let's not get crazy. What would those people whose kids are Honor Students at SoandSo Elementary put on the back of their cars then?
@B.E. Earl, So. You'll be watering my plants for me, then? Thanks.
@muskrat, I plan on it. I think.
@RW, Damn you.
@Sybil Law, You would most certainly merit an invite to any event that RW was invited to!! I meant that as a compliment, but it came off kind of douchey didn't it?
@Karen Sugarpants, You know, we need to start a twitter hashtag. Here are some possibilities:
#PseudoCanadian
#FaiqasShame
#DeppFTW
#Deppitydooda
I like the last one, personally.
@Avitable, He loves it. LOVES every minute of it.
@Ren, Well, I think you're right. Sort of. I would have liked to have known that my parents cared more about me than they did about my achievements at 12. That wasn't made clear to me by them until recently. And I surmise that had I actually followed the course that they set for me even earlier than 12 (become a doctor, take over their business, live in their town, associate with their friends, let them arrange my marriage), I may never have found that out. But in a general sense, I do agree that kids need a little bit of motivation and a lot of that usually has to be external.
@hello haha narf, I know. I kept going to your site thinking that your feed was broken again! Don't worry, I'll be back before you can say, "Bloated feedreader." Heh.
I used to think being an anxious person was a bad thing, but now that I think about it - what's better way to spend life other then being in the pursuit of endless affection and perfection? That and I really like that "burnt out" feeling at the end of the day. It means I can actually appreciate my efforts. That and I love using paper tabby things and fine point mechanical pencils. Organize on!
A week? GAH! You AND Hilly...
So on the life lesson, what happens when your good job turns to total shit and you have nowhere else to go because the market blows?
@Komal Khan, Heh. I'm not organizing in the hopes of attaining perfection... I'm just doing it so I can actually FIND stuff. :)
@Faiqa, well I'll be damned. :-)
@Hockeymandad, Really? Absolutely NOWHERE to go?
Make a plan and get the hell out. I don't think duration has any bearing on exit strategies, either. It would be foolish, obviously, to walk in and say, "Hey, suckers, I quit..." But, a person can plan and make small steps towards their fulfillment.
It might take said person several years, but they don't have to stay in the total shit job for the rest of their LIVES, you know? Even if it takes five years, what is five years in a lifetime?
If this person in a shitty job has identified what they believe will provide them with more fulfillment, they should ask themselves, 'OK, what is the next step I can take towards that?' Sometimes, it could be as simple as subscribing to a magazine or reading a new blog to get more ideas. Or it could be an enrichment class. Or whatever. Just a small step away from the shit job and one towards the one we want.
Nobody HAS to stay anywhere forever. While we often have little control over time frame, I think people always have a choice in the end.
@Alecia, http://hoobingfamilyadventures.com, OMG!! Me, too! Me, too!! I have a degree in Computer Science for that same reason. Plus my parents put a HUGE amount of pressure on me to major in something "scientific" as opposed to something that reflected my real strengths. Anywaaay.
The day after I graduated, I walked into my mom's office, handed her my diploma and said something to the effect of, "This is yours, I did this for you, so you should keep it."
I forget pretty often that I should please myself first before worrying about what anyone else thinks of me. Luckily, I have a guy who lives by that rule -- almost to an extreme, but don't tell him I said that! -- and he reminds me quite often.
Also, I love label makers and any other organizational supplies. Staples is my favorite store, right next to Target. *swoon*
Good luck this week!
@Avitable, please come save me Adam.
unibomber - lol...she said lol. Hahaha.
Just like everyone else, i CANNOT wait for you to complete your week long crusade and get back to blogging. :) No really, i love every minute of it.
@tariq, Adam only saves women, honey. Maybe if you put on a dress...
@tariq, Maz holds entirely too much sway in the way you and I communicate online.
@Faiqa, Ha! Controlio Boombox!
@Faiqa, Did you check Nuha's tinkerbell lunch box? lol
my mom must have a ton of that stuff SOMEWHERE buried in our attic.
i'd love to see it someday.
@Faiqa,
YES!
His job does suck major schwetty balls, but it's a paycheck. It won't be forever, and now, to start with a plan and a goal.
@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing], Wow. I just read my comment over because you responded and, hello, could I have been any more preachy?! Yikes.
@Slyde, Obviously, your mother still loves you because she's kept that stuff. Thanks for rubbing it in my face, dude. Reeeeeal cool.
This is why I try to get my students to do a good job because it's the right thing to do, not because they might get a prize.
I knew I liked the way you thought!
I got a degree in computer Science 'cause I flunked out of engineering. Lotta good it has done me.
Well...it's been over a week! Where are you?
Haha you're so awesome! I'm glad you are coming back. I know what you mean about needing to take a break and reorganize the house, bahh.
See ya soon! xoxo
@Jason, And this is why you're a great teacher.
@GrandeMocha, I know, with the advent of the "Information Technology" degree, the CompSci degree sort of seems extraneous, now.