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37 Weeks and Counting: A Bullet Post

  • I was going to write a post about how I’m taking a break from blogging, but I’ve decided not to take a break.  I’m just not willing to give this up even for a few weeks because, to me, my blog is my own personal space.  You know, the "room of one's own" of which Virginia Woolf spoke.  (Finally, after 18 months, I've managed to work Virginia Woolf into a blog post.  It's all downhill from here, people.)

  • My 19 year old cousin is staying with us, and she's been an enormous help in every way.  Still, she makes me feel like... a "square," sometimes.  Just the fact that I used the word "square" should illustrate how much of a "square" she makes me feel/act like.  When did I become a grown up?!

  • My darling friends, Mr.  Britt, Miss Britt, Adam, Hilly, Clown and Carolina came over on Friday night to watch Om Shanti Om.  We had a great time, they were just disrespectful enough to Bollywood culture to be funny, but not so much that I had to throw them out of the house.  A fun time was had by all.  Except Adam who came up with exactly 4,321,972 different variations of the phrase, "Why can't Indian movies be more like American movies?"

  • My SIL’s baby shower is on Saturday at my place.  We’re doing a Victorian theme complete with full tea service.  I just hope I don’t ruin the shower by going into labor.  And, just so you know, SIL tried her best to discourage me from having it at all, but I told her I’d kill her if she asked me one more time not to throw her a baby shower.  And she believed me.  I’m not sure if she realized I meant “kill” in the metaphorical sense.

  • Also?  I've surmised that Victorian tea is the direct result of the turn of the century British not allowing women to vote or own property.  As a result, Victorian women had no outlet for constructive behavior and were forced to concoct crazy rules like, "It is entirely inappropriate and quite common to slice a scone in its entirety."   Furthermore, I am highly disturbed by how incredibly appealing I find the the prospect of enforcing these rules upon other people.  By the way, that thing about scones?  Totally true.  I could not make up something like that even if I tried.

  • I realized that I’m pretty much done preparing for the arrival of this baby.  I thought I was behind, but it occurred to me this morning that I actually had less to do than I imagined.  I was way too prepared for N.’s arrival.  We bought way too much stuff and made way too many plans.  If I’ve learned anything, it’s that every kid is different and that we should wait and gauge the temperament of this child before assuming that he will happily sleep in his own room within two months of being born.

  • I feel so huge right now that it takes every ounce of what are the remnants of my self esteem about my body to keep from crying myself to sleep every night.  I literally despise looking in the mirror.  And?  Of course, I think pregnant woman are beautiful because, helllo, they'll take my rabid feminist card away if I don't. I just don’t feel like I look very beautiful.  My skin is all ashy, my face is puffy (read fat) and I can’t even bear to look anywhere below my neck.  Every time someone takes a photo of me, I want to burn their camera.

  • And in a variation of the classic LeSombre and NYCWD bullet post,  I’m saving this last bullet for the first person that says, “Sweetheart, you’re not fat, your pregnant.”  Thank you.  I know this.  And that doesn't help.  At all.

Reader Comments (72)

Well. I'm glad you won't be hating me because I am not going to Blogher. I never have.

Also, once you're past the age of about 23, I think you are automatically a square. Sorry.

I hope your remaining pregnancy time is as comfortable for you as possible!

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason

You're a beautiful woman, pregnant or not. And what were you thinking, taking a break from blogging? What the fuck's up with that?

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAvitable

Virginia Woolf?

As Denis Leary might say "Pull this bus over onto the side of Pretentious Turnpike. I'm getting off!"

(Just kidding. You'll never get rid of me. I'm like herpes. You'll just have to learn to live WITH me.)

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterB.E. Earl

Oddly enough, Jared was just telling me last night how gorgeous you looked on Friday and that you definitely had hit the "glow" stage.

No shit.

And yes, my love, you absolutely own us. Both of us.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Britt

That scone thing makes total sense to me. It's like when people spread butter on the whole piece of bread. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. One just does not do that.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKailyn

I'm not going to BlogHer! If you are up to it and not having your baby, we could eat lunch together. Or...I could come over and help you do things to prepare for the baby. Yanno, anything to be near to my Teen Dream.

Also, that Bollywood night at your house was the most fun I've had in a long time. Thank you (and Tariq) again for having me.

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHilly

Om Shanti Om was a fantastic film.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteradnan.

I am not going to BlogHer either!

But I am going out of state.

Really I don't know where I was going with any of that.

( are still hot. You know how I know? Because I said so.)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

So does this mean we get a live blogged birth? Because that would be awesome (and disturbing).

Also? No BlogHer for me. I had a ticket and everything, but when I did the math and realized it was so close to your due date and that you wouldn't be there, I bailed. It just isn't worth it without you.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSciFi Dad

@Jason, Oh, I don't really "hate" the people that are going. I just am very, very, very envious to the point of feeling negatively towards them. Kidding. :)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Avitable, So, since I didn't write out "douchebaggery" in yesterday's reply your going to start using f-bombs in my comment section. Douchebag.

And, awww, thanks, you're so sweet.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@B.E. Earl, Pretentious turnpike? Don't you know by know that I live in the Republic of Pretentia?

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Miss Britt, God, I love that Jared of yours.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Faiqa, I'm pretty sure I've used plenty of profanity before. And I'm such a sweet guy that I'm not even going to mention the your/you're thing going on up there.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAvitable

@Kailyn, No, one does not. I like using "one" a lot, too. ;)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Hilly, I'm so glad you had a good time. I'll e-mail you about getting together. I don't want to upset the rest of my Teen Dream fan club by showing you too much preference in public. (Although, yeah, you're a preferred member.) Heh.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@adnan., It's one of my favorites.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Sarah, Thanks, I *am* hot. As in, "Oh my God, it's a 100 degrees, is the AC on? It is sooo hot in here."

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@SciFi Dad, Yeah, I'll twitter the whole thing. No, no I won't. And YEAH, it's not worth it without me. That's what *real* friends would have said. ;)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Faiqa, DAMN IT. You know, I only do that when I'm writing to YOU. I like to look at it as though I'm helping you to exercise humility by giving you the opportunity not to act like a pretentious ass that goes around correcting everyone's grammar. Clearly, we have a long way to go.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Avitable, Apparently, I replied to myself instead of you. That should give you even MORE fuel for the bout of self righteousness you're already feeling.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Faiqa, look at you - trying to make me a better person. And I'm being nice about it because you have a small boy in your stomach sucking out your brain, so I can't expect you to achieve the levels of brilliance that you usually do.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAvitable

Sending good thoughts! :)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternancy

as a woman who never has had and never will have a baby, i can most certainly and confidently tell you that you are gorgeous. there truly is not much that is more beautiful than a woman nurturing life. so shut the fuck about about the fat thing or i will come sit on you and show you what fat is!

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhello haha narf

Apparently my Bollywood Night invite was lost in the mail. It's OK; it had a long way to go. ;)

I'm jealous of all the BlogHer attendees too. I hope it makes you feel better that you won't be seething alone.

And I'm sorry you feel icky (it's a techinical term). I remember that feeling and it sucks. ((hugs))

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFinn

@Finn, Um, "technical." That's how you spell it.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFinn

Well, I'm going third class and I probably won't even see your awesome friends while there. Unless I rescue one of them when they try to jump off the back of the ship....then maybe they'll invite me to dinner or something :)

P.S. I'm glad that your pregnancy is almost done with and I hope that you are able to maintain some level of comfort these last few weeks.

When I was pregnant with Travis, I had yucky Preggo Nose because my face was puffy. It was gross. I didn't make it that far with Annabeth and that kinda made me happy in a twisted way.

@nancy, Thanks! I'm almost there... BTW, the name we chose is "Yousuf Tariq". (I remember that you asked me that, right?)

We're having issues with how to spell it. Tariq likes "Yousuf." I like "Yusef." You're the phD... you decide. And, remember, you're MY friend. ;)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@hello haha narf, Thank you, my love.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Finn, You are always invited. Always. And I like techinical. It goes with the trend I started in my comment to Adam.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Preggo nose? That sucks. I can't believe people didn't get up for you when you were pregnant. That makes me feel so... homicidal.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

OK. Here's the thing. I learned last month at ConFab that I'm really not a Twitterer/Facebooker when I'm at a blog meet-up. I finally pulled out my iPhone because everyone else had theirs and I was beginning to feel weird without mine. So, you probably aren't going to see very many tweets/Facebook updates from me while I'm at BlogHer. I'm old-fashioned that way.

But? I'm going to be at Avitaween. And we're going to hang. And I can't wait to meet you then!

@Coal Miner's Granddaughter, Oh, and? You'll get that body back soon enough. Until then? Still beautiful, I'm sure!

You are gorgeous in any way, shape or form, PLUS I saw a picture of you from the Bollywood night (which I am intensely jealous of) and you look fantastic. Period. (And spaking of periods, I have mine NOW so you know I am being honest because my menstruality deems it so. )
I am not going to BlogHer; only because YOU can't go. I am loyal! ;)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSybil Law

Oh wait - and are you serving crumpets? Plus, make sure you have some edible violets for your guests, like on top of cupcakes. The Victorians loved their edible flowers.
I just made that up. But *I* love edible flowers.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSybil Law

@Sybil Law, I think they should be candied violets.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKailyn

@Faiqa, You know what else is good? Use of the royal we.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKailyn

I'm not going to BlogHer. We can Tweet each other and block all those other annoying Twitterers. Er, did I say that out loud?

I bet you're beautiful. I don't think you could be anything less.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelli

@Sybil Law, Actually, one of the research sites *did* suggest violets as a centerpiece. So, you kind of didn't make that up.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Shelli, Aww, thanks. We are following each other on twitter, right?

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Faiqa, I don't think so. Are you Faiqa on there, too?

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelli

Yay for babies! I love the name Yusuf, it lends itself to so many cute nicknames. Yusie. Yuso. Yu-yu. Sufi. Sofa. Yogurt. Yodel.

Wait. I may have gotten off track with that last one. Or two.

Anyway - yay babies!

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheGoriWife

@Shelli, Yes! Clever, huh?

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@TheGoriWife, Wow. I was just commenting on your blog when I saw that you commented on mine. I love it when stuff like that happens.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

@Faiqa, I'm following you now!

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelli

@Faiqa, Huh! Maybe I've read that somewhere?
Anyway - are you gonna serve them?! :P

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSybil Law

I gained 7 lbs this weekend. How's that for empathy? :)

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPoppy

@Faiqa, Just make sure I have a valid visa to the Republic. I will certainly bow to the most wondrous Faiqa! Or smirk at her real hard.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterB.E. Earl

@B.E. Earl, Who else noticed that I wrote "know by know"? This baby might be super smart given that he's sucking out 90% of my brain. And aww, Earl, you're welcome to smirk at me any time.

July 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFaiqa

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