Saturday
Jun202009
Mack Daddy
Saturday, June 20, 2009 at 12:05AM
In the early months of N.’s life, Tariq was in charge of helping her go to sleep.
Most evenings he would carry her around in the baby sling that we had for her.
It was really sweet to watch him help her wind down.
“What’s this?” he would ask as her big eyes peered out of the sling. “It’s a floower," he'd tell her very seriously.
“What’s this? Booook.”
“What’s this? A window.”
Nobody that had ever witnessed this part of the routine was surprised when, at nine months, N. uttered “What’s this?”
From the very start, Tariq knew that being a daddy was important.
From the very start, he was really, really good at it.
And, of course, I respected, loved and admired my husband from the first day I saw him. But, still I never would have guessed the how much of an amazing father he would become.
I hear that there are dads that come home and sit on the couch as soon as they get home from work.
As far as they’re concerned, being a dad means bringing home money, patting their children on the head every now and then and mumbling something about doing a good job. They yell directions from their armchairs and expect their kids to behave.
They blame everyone else when their children don't really care to spend time with them when they get older. They don't understand that a respectful and loving relationship, even with children... especially with children is directly proportional to the amount of time you spend with someone and how important you make them feel.
To this kind of dad, Sunday's game offers more to look forward to than their child climbing up on their lap for an evening story.
And that's alright, I guess. But, Tariq? Is definitely not that kind of father.
Being a father is not a job to him. Also, though I'm sure he sees it as such, he never acts like it's a responsibility, either.
His every action suggests that being a father is his privilege.
She's a gift to him. Anyone that sees the look in his eyes when he gazes at his daughter can attest to that.
N. is so incredibly blessed to be his daughter. To know that her father wants to spend time with her. That he loves her. That she is not a mouth to feed for him, but a reason to come home. Too many children grow up thinking that their someone’s job.
I also love that right now she takes the fact that daddy loves spending time with her for granted. Yet, I hope that one day she realizes that not everyone's daddy makes the kind of effort that hers does. I also hope that she will think of him and it will make her feel as though she is worthy of being treated with such love, such respect and such honor.
My prayer for my daughter is that she always acknowledges the blessing of her father’s love. And that she always remembers that he didn’t have to be as good at being her dad as he is.
I hope that in her adulthood she will never settle for anyone less honorable, full of life, loving and decent than her father.
He is a man of quality, a devoted husband and a father like few have had.
Happy Father's Day.
Most evenings he would carry her around in the baby sling that we had for her.
It was really sweet to watch him help her wind down.
“What’s this?” he would ask as her big eyes peered out of the sling. “It’s a floower," he'd tell her very seriously.
“What’s this? Booook.”
“What’s this? A window.”
Nobody that had ever witnessed this part of the routine was surprised when, at nine months, N. uttered “What’s this?”
From the very start, Tariq knew that being a daddy was important.
From the very start, he was really, really good at it.
And, of course, I respected, loved and admired my husband from the first day I saw him. But, still I never would have guessed the how much of an amazing father he would become.
I hear that there are dads that come home and sit on the couch as soon as they get home from work.
As far as they’re concerned, being a dad means bringing home money, patting their children on the head every now and then and mumbling something about doing a good job. They yell directions from their armchairs and expect their kids to behave.
They blame everyone else when their children don't really care to spend time with them when they get older. They don't understand that a respectful and loving relationship, even with children... especially with children is directly proportional to the amount of time you spend with someone and how important you make them feel.
To this kind of dad, Sunday's game offers more to look forward to than their child climbing up on their lap for an evening story.
And that's alright, I guess. But, Tariq? Is definitely not that kind of father.
Being a father is not a job to him. Also, though I'm sure he sees it as such, he never acts like it's a responsibility, either.
His every action suggests that being a father is his privilege.
She's a gift to him. Anyone that sees the look in his eyes when he gazes at his daughter can attest to that.
N. is so incredibly blessed to be his daughter. To know that her father wants to spend time with her. That he loves her. That she is not a mouth to feed for him, but a reason to come home. Too many children grow up thinking that their someone’s job.
I also love that right now she takes the fact that daddy loves spending time with her for granted. Yet, I hope that one day she realizes that not everyone's daddy makes the kind of effort that hers does. I also hope that she will think of him and it will make her feel as though she is worthy of being treated with such love, such respect and such honor.
My prayer for my daughter is that she always acknowledges the blessing of her father’s love. And that she always remembers that he didn’t have to be as good at being her dad as he is.
I hope that in her adulthood she will never settle for anyone less honorable, full of life, loving and decent than her father.
He is a man of quality, a devoted husband and a father like few have had.
Happy Father's Day.
Reader Comments (25)
Beautiful post, Faiqa. Tariq is a wonderful man. Please tell him Happy Father's Day from me. :)
He reminds me of my dad. My dad was the same - is the same.
You are an amazing writer.
Ooof. Right through my chest into my heart. You write well and it appears you have some good fodder. Well done on all accounts.
Beautiful! Also, I am a total sucker for pics of fathers & their children walking hand in hand towards the ocean....
*sniffle*
*sniff*
The way you described "most" or a lot of fathers in your eariler paragraphs describes an epidemic that seems to be a plauge for our children. It's so sad to see that a lot of kids are either growing up fatherless, or with one who treats them as if they owe him something.
This post hits real close to home and you and your daughter are blessed with such a man.
Happy Father's Day, Tariq!
He is indeed a great, great father!
xo
Faiqa, I remember my father, (may God Bless his soul), treated me like a princess all my life--long after I was married, and had my own children, and even the moment of his last breath on this earth -- I was still his princess. Because of his respect, kindness, patience, attention, and his love towards me, I learned how a woman is to be treated. I watched him treat my mother the same, and I heard him teach it to my brothers. My father was the single largest influence on my life in learning self-respect. I am blessed to have learned from a young age this very valuable ingredient in each member of a family. Self-respect comes from the way parents treat their children. Self-less-ness comes from the way we teach our children to treat one another.
Kindness, Patience & Caring Must Be Taught And Lived EVERYDAY By The Parents.
I am blessed to have a husband who loved my father so much that although he himself did not have a childhood which was nurturing, he wanted to be the same kind of father as mine had been to me. And although it has been more than 22 years, I still see the love and respect he gives our children. I see the way they treat one another --the love, the laughter, the conversations -- and in all of our life together as a family, they still love to be with each other. I credit all this to my husband. I pray that my father knows, what a huge impact he was on my life. I pray that my children understand their fathers influence.
For all those fathers who treat their role with intention -- Happy Fathers Day!!
@Faiqa ! You Are blessed with Great Writing Skills
n m Proud that u are a pakistani!
@ topic
My Father hv "no match".
Love You Dad!
Muaah!
That's awesome. I have one of each (boy and girl) and that kind of attention is KEY, early and often.
Well, you did it to me again, Faiqa!
What a tribute to Tariq? WOW... "N" is such a fortunate and blessed child, as will be your son. No doubt, Tariq is what every man *should be* to their child/children. Wish Tariq a very Happy Father's Day for me...
Now, please pass the Kleenex :)
That is so nice. What a beautiful picture.
What a great post. Tariq definitely seems to dote on N. completely, and she seems to listen to him and respect him. Unlike, of course, how she seems to feel about you when you two are alone!
::tears up::
Awesome entry, Faiqa. :)
Faiqa, this is such a beautiful post. Even more so because of how steeped in truth it is.
Awwwwww, how sweet!
The world needs more guys like that.
Beautiful.
Happy Father's Day, Tariq.
Chances are, she won't realize how "good" she has it, or how different an approach he takes to parenting until she's much older and has a frame of reference. Then, one day after she sees a classmate's uninvolved father speak only to request another beer, she'll realize what she has.
Or at least that's what I tell myself.
Faiqa, thanks a lot for these beautiful words. I am not sure if I deserve all of that but since you are mostly right...I will take your word for it. :) Kidding aside, you and Nuha make it easy and worthwhile to be a decent dad and husband. Love you both very much.
So true. Tariq is an amazing father! I won't forget his-what's this? with Nuha in his arms. She is a lucky little girl to have two great parents.
I just wish this was more the norm instead of a rarity.
I look forward to seeing the great dad that I know Zia will be. We are smart women.
[...] Father’s Day something in me just broke. My post was inspired by this post, and not because the post itself was awful, because it was AMAZING. I sat at my computer with tears [...]
I wish more parents were do doting.
inshaAllah she will realize how awesome her daddy is when she's older (just don't hold your breath for it to happen while she's in teen mode :D)
x
Faiqa,
I enjoy your writing and I can see why you would get along with Britt so well.
Kudos on this great post! And congratulations on your kidS!
Thanks, Bre, for your comment! I'm glad you enjoy my writing... and yes, sometimes, when I'm reading something that Britt has written, I feel like she just scooped the words right out of my brain. :)
Anyway, thanks again for reading and your kind words.