Thursday
Oct082009
A Promise To My Friend
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 01:34AM
It’s not my place to tell you what’s right and wrong. If I thought you didn’t know the difference, we wouldn’t be friends in the first place. I will tell you the truth, though, when I think you're ready to hear it. But know that you can tell me anything and I will still love you the same. Which is a lot.
I promise.
When you’re sad, I’ll make little jokes in an effort to make you laugh. I do this because I want you to remember what it feels like to laugh from your gut... the way you did when you were a kid, before you knew that life could be messy and painful and often devastatingly complicated. I’m not being flippant in an effort to dismiss you or your pain when I make these jokes.
I promise.
I will believe you when you tell me who you are. I'll be honest with you about who I am. No matter how much we change over time, as long as we are honest with one another about that, we'll always be friends.
I promise.
You don’t have to tell me anything. You can tell me everything. Whatever you decide, it’s fine. I cherish your need to share, I respect your need to withhold.
I promise.
I'll keep your secrets. If you aren’t telling everyone about this, I know there’s a good reason for that. I won’t tell a soul. OK, maybe I might tell my baby if it’s a really good secret. But, he can’t talk, yet, so your secret is still safe.
I promise.
I’ll tell you interesting little facts about the world, how it works and all of the things I’ve learned so far. I don’t do this to make myself feel smart, I do it so that we can have interesting conversations and feel like we’re intrepid explorers of this stunning planet, of this amazing life and of all of the deep, meaningful moments that we're living.
I promise.
I’ll try my very best not to let you mistake my need to be perfect for actual perfection. When I make a mistake, if I feel like I’m not enough, if I feel sad or angry, I'll tell you. I will tell you so that you can feel like we’re both stumbling blindly into uncharted territory. Even though it's incredibly difficult for me, I will let you see me when I am weak.
I promise.
I'm busy, but I can make time for you. You're not bothering me. Call me. Come over. Ask for the favor. Yes, even if you want me to help you paint.
I promise.
Sometimes, I’ll look beyond your brave smile to the wounded heart inside, and I won’t tell you what I see if you don’t want me to tell you. But, in my heart, I’ll cry with you.
I promise.
Other times, I’ll see beyond the serious facade, the one that is desperately trying to push back frivolous laughter and I’ll give you one of those knowing smiles that lets you know that this laughter lives in me, as well. Because I know that being the only one giggling is almost as upsetting as being the only one who isn’t. I will always giggle with you.
I promise.
When I look at you, I will look with eyes that really see you. I will see your heart. I will see your soul. And you will always look beautiful to me.
I promise.
You will never be alone.
Ever.
I promise.
I promise.
When you’re sad, I’ll make little jokes in an effort to make you laugh. I do this because I want you to remember what it feels like to laugh from your gut... the way you did when you were a kid, before you knew that life could be messy and painful and often devastatingly complicated. I’m not being flippant in an effort to dismiss you or your pain when I make these jokes.
I promise.
I will believe you when you tell me who you are. I'll be honest with you about who I am. No matter how much we change over time, as long as we are honest with one another about that, we'll always be friends.
I promise.
You don’t have to tell me anything. You can tell me everything. Whatever you decide, it’s fine. I cherish your need to share, I respect your need to withhold.
I promise.
I'll keep your secrets. If you aren’t telling everyone about this, I know there’s a good reason for that. I won’t tell a soul. OK, maybe I might tell my baby if it’s a really good secret. But, he can’t talk, yet, so your secret is still safe.
I promise.
I’ll tell you interesting little facts about the world, how it works and all of the things I’ve learned so far. I don’t do this to make myself feel smart, I do it so that we can have interesting conversations and feel like we’re intrepid explorers of this stunning planet, of this amazing life and of all of the deep, meaningful moments that we're living.
I promise.
I’ll try my very best not to let you mistake my need to be perfect for actual perfection. When I make a mistake, if I feel like I’m not enough, if I feel sad or angry, I'll tell you. I will tell you so that you can feel like we’re both stumbling blindly into uncharted territory. Even though it's incredibly difficult for me, I will let you see me when I am weak.
I promise.
I'm busy, but I can make time for you. You're not bothering me. Call me. Come over. Ask for the favor. Yes, even if you want me to help you paint.
I promise.
Sometimes, I’ll look beyond your brave smile to the wounded heart inside, and I won’t tell you what I see if you don’t want me to tell you. But, in my heart, I’ll cry with you.
I promise.
Other times, I’ll see beyond the serious facade, the one that is desperately trying to push back frivolous laughter and I’ll give you one of those knowing smiles that lets you know that this laughter lives in me, as well. Because I know that being the only one giggling is almost as upsetting as being the only one who isn’t. I will always giggle with you.
I promise.
When I look at you, I will look with eyes that really see you. I will see your heart. I will see your soul. And you will always look beautiful to me.
I promise.
You will never be alone.
Ever.
I promise.
Reader Comments (64)
That is beautiful.
You are a wonderful friend.
Now THAT'S friendship.
She is so fortunate to have a friend like you during this time.
This is why I like being friends with you.
You are an amazing friend.
And this:
"I’ll tell you interesting little facts about the world, how it works and all of the things I’ve learned so far. I don’t do this to make myself feel smart, I do it so that we can have interesting conversations and feel like we’re intrepid explorers of this stunning planet, of this amazing life and of all of the deep, meaningful moments that we’re living."
I don't know where you get this fear that people think you're trying to "make yourself feel smart". You ARE smart and you ARE interesting and it is so SO cool that you have so SO much to share that I don't already know about.
I think it's awesome that someone can make a comment about a word ending in the letter E and you instantly remember an interesting fact about that and want to share it.
That's a FABULOUS part of being your friend.
This is what friendship is all about. I've been thinking a lot about friendship and honesty lately and how important those things are to me. Lovely, Faiqa, as always. xo
This post made me feel vaklempt.
At work.
Doh.
This post is so beautiful Faiqa, you are such an amazing writer. I love reading what you have to say, and you are totally smart and interesting - I never feel like you're just trying to "make yourself feel smart".
:)
I have a million goosebumps right now. This was wonderful!! Your friends are lucky to have you!
You are such an amazing person. Really. You will make me cry this early! What? 9:30 a.m. IS early for crying!
Aww yeesh.
You still rock.
:)
@Miss Britt, I have to agree with Miss Britt on this statement. You *are* a smarty pants and should never think, even for a minute, that you shouldn't share what you know. If someone thinks you shouldn't then they're an asshole and we don't care what they think anyway....okay? :)
I'm so very grateful that I get to know you.
Anybody who gets to be your friend is so very lucky.
BTW, I love smart people. I get to learn so much from them. One of the many reasons I like you.
@RebTurtle, Why, thank you.
@Avitable, So are you.
@Dave2, This message approved by Dave2.
@SciFi Dad, Thanks, but, you know, I didn't write this for anyone in particular. I would apply it to someone like you, too. (By someone like you, I mean a person whose life is perfect in every way and has no problems at all. :) )
@Hilly, And it's why I like being friends with you. That giggling thing was completely prompted by you. You've made me laugh so hard these past few months... **teen dream** **for douches** **disco baby** **Sisters of Sanity** **boom box**
@Miss Britt, Thanks, Britt, you're eagerness to learn about the world brings out the best in me, I think.
@Courtney Haynes, Hahahaha. They are assholes, aren't they?
@Karen Sugarpants, Of course they're important to you, because you are a good person and a worthy friend.
@NYCWD, Oh, man, I don't want some poor old lady who slipped in her tub to be greeted by a weeping medic... MAN UP, buddy.
@Sarcastica, Thank you... I appreciate that, I really do.
@Bre, I'm lucky to have them, too.
@Sybil Law, Don't cry!! Cry because you're leaving me hanging on October 24th. ;)
@Courtney Haynes, I'm so grateful that after all these years and all the stuff, we're still friends. That is pretty awesome. Facebook? Rules.
@Finn, Consider yourself extremely lucky because you are definitely a friend.
Dave2 beat me to the punch. Everyone else said it much more eloquently than I could.
**HUGS**
great post. everyone could use a friend like this...
hai, can we haz frandship?
=)
(this was brilliantly written, btw)
This is such an AMAZING post! I am so glad that Ismail went back to school, I moved to FL, and now I have you for a friend. So glad you are a part of my life and I love you!
@Kris, ::Hugs back::
@melissa, And everyone deserves a friend like this.
@adnan., Even if you speak LOLcat in my comments section, I will still be your friend. I promise. ;) And thanks, my friend.
@Romeen, I am so glad you moved to Florida, too. I don't think you have a real idea of how thankful I am... you're an amazing person and I love you too. And miss you. :(
Will you be my friend?
Good Lord, I love you. Seriously. And when I get to Orlando in a couple of weeks, I'm body-hugging you.
You are wonderful! :)
@The Urban Cowboy, Of course I will. Could you be my friend? :)
@Coal Miner's Granddaughter, I'm always up for a good body hug from a hot Georgian. I meant that in the most morally sound sense.
@Becca, Awww, so are you, hon.
This is so warm and fuzzy, I love it.
Will you be my new best friend?
@Jason, OMG, YAAAAY! I've been waiting months for you to ask me that, yes, emphatically yes! :)
I hope I'm not being too eager.
@Faiqa, Hella yea!
@The Urban Cowboy, Yay, excellent. Now. Did I mention I needed my living room repainted? :D
friend shmiend...you can pay for everything/everybody now days. Ofcourse, it's easy for me to say because i already have you to talk to...:)
very nice... i wish i had a friend like you.
@Slyde, Is this comment some shameless ploy to get Earl to declare his undying love for you? ;) And Slyde? You have something better than "a friend like me..." you have a friend that *is* me.
@tariq, "You can pay for everything/anything"? Really? That's your comment?